Another year has come and gone, and my foray into micro-blogging continues to entertain and distract me in odd moments that I would otherwise spend staring into space waiting for a bus. As I promised this time last year, I’ve put together my top eleven tweets of 2011. Enjoy!
November 5, 2011
Sudden thought: Why is there a jail in Monopoly? I’m playing a capitalist with huge swaths of real estate. My kind don’t go to prison…
October 27, 2011
Lipton could bottle today’s weather and market it with a series of claymation parodies (it’s brisk, I guess is what I’m trying to say).
(For those of you who don’t get the reference, here’s some context.)
September 6, 2011
My reaction to the first day of school: “That will take care of all those troublesome kids.” I think I’m becoming a Scooby Doo villain.
August 28, 2011
Got my good deed for the day out of the way early (caught an escaped dog for an older lady). Now I can dedicate the rest of my day to evil.
August 21, 2011
I’m in a used bookstore. Along one wall are shelves for Religion and for Science. The bookcase between the two is labeled ‘Unexplained.’
June 4, 2011
Things you learn at 1 a.m.? Card-carrying communists bring tambourines to karaoke. Who knew?
April 24, 2011
Bachelor achievement unlocked: I have worn out my can opener.
March 28, 2011
Geoff of the Future? Buy cat food. The natives are getting restless. Sincerely, Geoff of the Past (your biggest fan!)
February 14, 2011
I like the word lampooning: It’s like harpooning without the attempted murder. You’re only stabbing someone with your words.
February 8, 2011
Okay Tuesday *rolls head left and right until a pop-click sounds from both directions* let’s dance!
January 8, 2011
Had some company over to see the new apartment. Best compliment? “Now there’s the television of a man who reads books!”
- – -
Anyway, I make no claims to any of this being great writing, but I have a lot of fun with Twitter, and I look forward to continuing with it in 2012. All the best to you and yours in the New Year!